August 2012
1 post
I know I don’t EVER use Tumblr anymore, but...
May 2011
1 post
I wrote “Maria” for a friend’s...
November 2010
2 posts
Evolutionarily speaking...
I’m pretty sure Asians would have been next in line for extinction. Though they might not have seen it coming.
I was born with two left hands
which is why I’ll never be a dancer.
September 2010
5 posts
Just another weird neighbor.
I’ve been watching Xena and I’m pretty sure all my neighbors know it because of the yelling noise I make every other second. I mean—they can’t confuse the “Xena yell” with anything else, right?
Moms & Football?
It’s weird to be away from home for a long time just to come back to find your mother’s personality has entirely changed. I can hear her from upstairs yelling at the Carolina Game “OH, COME ON GUYS!”….
Since when did my mom start talking to televisions—first off—and since when did she become a football fan?
Is this part of the “big change”?
Oh No...
I have an audition and I have to be a “crying girl”!! The only thing that really ever makes me cry is Destiny’s Child and movie trailers.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Destiny’s Child mixed with the Harry Potter 7 trailer will just distract me from my goal.
I hate when...
People say something trying to impress you but you’re already pretty unimpressed by this person to even think that something they say is worth listening to, but they keep going on about it anyway just because they want to feel better about themselves even though they’re not really ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS.
GOOOOOD MOOOOORNING CALIFORNIA!
Sexy??
So I recently befriended this guy that I had a crush on in middle school & today he facebook chatted me!! Obviously this was one of my tween fantasies come true so I wanted to sound funny & like the “girl that got away”.
This is where our conversation has ended at the moment:
Me
we had a disaster of a toilet clog (via him) last thursday and now I and the other therapists...
August 2010
25 posts
Mid Afternoon Wood
I’m at my grandma’s house for the day because later tonight we’re celebrating my 22nd birthday. Eek…
Anyway, my great grandma lives with my grandparents and she asked me to wheel her into her bedroom to look for a piece of jewelry. She proceeded to look for a pin to wear to my party, but couldn’t find it.
My grandma came in and pointed out to my great grandma that...
I’m SO EXCITED to see The Avett Brothers in...
PMS? I can never tell...
I woke up this morning feeling really bad, listened to an Alexi Murdoch song—which made me feel worse—and then started facebook chatting with a guy I always wanted to be better friends with. I almost asked him to coffee just so that I could get to know him better, but his facebook chat box returned my message saying that he had gone offline.
Now I’m back to Alexi Murdoch feeling...
Morning Hard On
It’s funny when people interrupt what you’re saying and go, “Oh, I thought you were going to say _________(something sexually explicit).” Most of the time this happens when the conversation is least sexually explicit like:
1. At church—the preacher’s praying and goes, “Bow down and let Jesus come inside you.”
Really, church is the #1 place for...
Failed
I was facebook stalking some random guy friend of an acquaintance I have. I was looking over his just uploaded wedding photos & kept wondering—-“seriously?”
Both bride and groom look hardly over 18 and both have Trump/Bieber comb overs.
Anyway, I realized today that I can’t really be nice so I think me wasting another day trying is pointless.
Hopefully she’s...
Cannoli?
I can’t decide if it’s really smart of my cat to drink from the faucet or if she’s too dumb to find her water dish…
My life as a sitcom
My roommate has Asperger’s Syndrome. Today has been pretty interesting:
1. We’re on the elevator with some random guy who gets off on our floor with us. My roommate goes, “He’s hot,” just loud enough for the guy to have heard. I said “roommate, you don’t say things like that when people can hear you.” He says, “But I’m bi-.”
...
Day One of "Being Nice"
And of course the annoying Asian kid that works with me is the first person to call me today.
Another reason I HEART Steve Carell
There is a guy that follows my Twitter that reminds me of Dwight off of “The Office” (if I were Michael)…
1. He annoys me.
2. He is balding.
3. He is taller than me.
Like Michael I keep this person around because of their love for paper products & because of the attention I get from them.
Follow this Link for a WHAMMY →
In America we use wood for things like fire & tables. In China they use wood for forks. What happens when you use wood for utensils? You get cocky & don’t see a WHAMMY like this coming…
Sexting vs. Exting
According to the Wall Street Journal today, sexting is fast becoming the new method of choice for wannabe sex-offenders. Writers state that minors involved in sexting rings “don’t know what they’re doing when they use erotically suggestive material in their text messages.”
Little Doris told the paper that sexting was just a fun way of getting noticed these days....
Theory?
I think facebook is one big conspiracy to turn average world citizens into interweb hoarders. If I cleaned out all the “friends” that I had on facebook and used the following criteria to do so:
1. I don’t talk to you.
2. I don’t talk about you.
3. I don’t know you
Then I’d be left with MAYBE 10 people.
“Of course this would be...
I have always imagined myself doing stand up comedy, running onstage with a mic in my hands, tripping and playing it off like it wasn’t fake. I don’t know why I imagine that—I already know it wouldn’t be funny.
Welcome to my tumblr.
I’ll make your shit fit anywhere.
It's 8:41 AM
AND I AM READY TO PAR.R.R.R.RTAY
1 tag
Lay me down In a field Where you’ll Be...
This is how each day typically goes.
Fuck you, _____________.
1 tag
Oh, constant wanderer. What do you take me for?
...
1 tag
Grab your coat Your bag of sin We’re going...
1 tag
This song has taken far too long to make in...
July 2010
7 posts
Tumblr
Makes me feel 16 again for about 16 seconds…
1 tag
In response to the Sweet Vans release “I got...
I want to canoodle doodle...
And this is the point in the dream when I feel weird and wake up.
1 tag
I accidently broke 3 rules last night.
Slut teasing is hard.
1 tag
Slut-Tease
How to be a slut-tease (this term is now copyrighted by me because I claim it to be):
1. Give a guy a LOT of attention.
2. Tell him you love the movie “Home Alone”.
3. If he starts rambling about sports, pretend to be interested. Make eye contact until the conversation goes WAY over your head then stare quickly at something else and act grossed out. He’ll immediately ask you...
April 2010
7 posts
1 tag
This is just a cover of the song on Oh Brother...
1 tag
New Song for Today…This is one of my...
1 tag
Maybe I should just plan on making a song a...
WatchLast song for the night…I don’t know why I had this photo on my computer, but I thought it should be posted!
1 tag
WatchUm, so tumblr wouldn’t let me upload a second song tonight…So I found a way around them—a makeshift video (consisting of one picture of Kevin from The Office). Anyway, I was bored this afternoon and decided to make this. Not the best thing I’ve ever come up with, but definitely one of the hardest to create—remember that I only have the speakers on my laptop to sing...
1 tag
Um, so this is not edited all the way…but...
1 tag
Um, so I had a stroke of genius? Though it...
February 2010
1 post
:)
It’s nice to know that even though I haven’t posted in 2 months, I still have at least a handful of followers on tumblr…
There’s even a new thing called “photo-reply”—wicked awesome!
December 2009
3 posts
I am stuck in IHOP for a meeting...
Is this what being a grown up is like?
