Why you should listen: These guys are AMAZING at what they do. Not only is the music uplifting and emotional—oftentimes as Post Rock seems to be—Pan is able to capture this essence with short tracks, little to no vocals, and a heavy rock flair. Comparing this band to Explosions in the Sky would be like comparing apples to oranges—yes, they are both fruit, but the look and taste sets them apart.
I highly recommend this band and that you find out if they’re playing a show sometime soon NEAR YOU!!!!
It’s weird to be away from home for a long time just to come back to find your mother’s personality has entirely changed. I can hear her from upstairs yelling at the Carolina Game “OH, COME ON GUYS!”….
Since when did my mom start talking to televisions—first off—and since when did she become a football fan?
People say something trying to impress you but you’re already pretty unimpressed by this person to even think that something they say is worth listening to, but they keep going on about it anyway just because they want to feel better about themselves even though they’re not really ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS.
So I recently befriended this guy that I had a crush on in middle school & today he facebook chatted me!! Obviously this was one of my tween fantasies come true so I wanted to sound funny & like the “girl that got away”.
This is where our conversation has ended at the moment:
we had a disaster of a toilet clog (via him) last thursday and now I and the other therapists have to teach him what to do…if that were to happen again…he went from tuesday to thursday with his toilet being clogged, shitting in it STILL, without telling me…FML
ohhhh that’s no good
yeah, he’s 18…
I like that you put (via him) just so I would know it wasn’t one of your massive turds that clogged up the toilet
I’m at my grandma’s house for the day because later tonight we’re celebrating my 22nd birthday. Eek…
Anyway, my great grandma lives with my grandparents and she asked me to wheel her into her bedroom to look for a piece of jewelry. She proceeded to look for a pin to wear to my party, but couldn’t find it.
My grandma came in and pointed out to my great grandma that she was already wearing it. This is the conversation that took place:
Grandma: Well mom, you already have your pin on your sweater.
Great Grandma: Well why in the world did you pin it up so high? I can’t even see it.
Grandma: Well did you want me to pin it by your booby?
Great Grandma: Well I would have been able to find it! (Looking at me) I never had boobs when I was growing up either Kayla.
Me: Okay, thanks.
Great Grandma: Now that I don’t need boobs, I have big ones. Want to see a 91 year old ladies boobs?
I woke up this morning feeling really bad, listened to an Alexi Murdoch song—which made me feel worse—and then started facebook chatting with a guy I always wanted to be better friends with. I almost asked him to coffee just so that I could get to know him better, but his facebook chat box returned my message saying that he had gone offline.
Now I’m back to Alexi Murdoch feeling worse than I did before.
It’s funny when people interrupt what you’re saying and go, “Oh, I thought you were going to say _________(something sexually explicit).” Most of the time this happens when the conversation is least sexually explicit like:
1. At church—the preacher’s praying and goes, “Bow down and let Jesus come inside you.”
Really, church is the #1 place for these types of interruptions (via your own mind or someone else’s).
Anyway, it’s always funny/creepy to hear the perverted thoughts of others—though I suppose example 1. is your own mind being a boner.
My roommate has Asperger’s Syndrome. Today has been pretty interesting:
1. We’re on the elevator with some random guy who gets off on our floor with us. My roommate goes, “He’s hot,” just loud enough for the guy to have heard. I said “roommate, you don’t say things like that when people can hear you.” He says, “But I’m bi-.”
Today my roommate’s bi.
2. I get upstairs and a friend is at my house. My friend asks to use my roommate’s bathroom. My roommate says, “Okay but it’s pretty shitty in there.” My roommate clogged up the toilet on Tuesday and has been shitting in it ever since.
Today my roommate plunged through shit.
I’m suppose to be practicing being a nice person but it really is not working out well.
And that is my life as a sitcom. Thanks for watching.
According to the Wall Street Journal today, sexting is fast becoming the new method of choice for wannabe sex-offenders. Writers state that minors involved in sexting rings “don’t know what they’re doing when they use erotically suggestive material in their text messages.”
Little Doris told the paper that sexting was just a fun way of getting noticed these days. “Everyone does it—and it’s not like I’m being, like, a slut or anything.”
Researchers polled “ten thousand” fourteen year olds and asked them which was worse: sending a sext or getting exted*?
*Exting, according to urban dictionary, is when you get drunk and start texting your old ex-boy/girlfriends.
Of the “ten thousand’ fourteen year olds polled, 68.993% said that they’d rather receive a sext than an ext.
"I aint wanna no if u gonna kummova an git sumo dis shit. gettn a ext iz like da worlds cummn to a end," Ty Wilsen.
Of the “ten thousand” fourteen year olds polled, 48.2% said they were guilty of exting while all labeled themselves as having posed nude for a camera at least once in their lifetimes.
Researchers wonder if this is a wave of the future or if it is a statement of the past…
I have always imagined myself doing stand up comedy, running onstage with a mic in my hands, tripping and playing it off like it wasn’t fake. I don’t know why I imagine that—I already know it wouldn’t be funny.
How to be a slut-tease (this term is now copyrighted by me because I claim it to be):
1. Give a guy a LOT of attention.
2. Tell him you love the movie “Home Alone”.
3. If he starts rambling about sports, pretend to be interested. Make eye contact until the conversation goes WAY over your head then stare quickly at something else and act grossed out. He’ll immediately ask you what’s wrong and you can pretend that some lady with cottage cheese legs just walked by…
4. Always say you love zombies—especially Nazi zombies.
5. Always say that you’re in multiple relationships & you’re not looking for a long-term anything.
6. Never wear a thong. Don’t wear granny-panties. Black always looks good & lying about sometimes going comando is acceptable.
7. Never have sex with the guys you see; this defeats the purpose of being a tease. You may do whatever else you like—but no plunger in the toilet.
8. If sleeping over at the guys house for the first time—try to sneak out in the morning before he wakes up.
9. If the guy is sleeping over at your house—make sure you do not kiss him before he leaves. Something on the cheek or neck is okay, BUT NO MOUTH.
10. *Never see the same guy two nights in a row & don’t respond to text messages sent to you past midnight*